Dr Frank Ryan Foundation Former website

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Edge of the rain

I spent many Christmas holidays at my grandparents farm in Loeriesfontein, 100 km from Calvinia in the Northern Province Cape Town, South Africa. The farm was typical of most farms in the private shower hot and dusty Karoo. He was relentless, inflexible and fit only for sheep, ostrich and the toughest human. Not much grew it, but quinces, the strongest of the toughest weeds and shrubs.

When I looked my grandfather, tracking steep lines across his face told the story of hardship and suffering. And sometimes in an unguarded moment, hed drop the pose and let me see his piercing blue eyes and soul. Even at an early age could imagine that the undercurrents that swept his soul – sorry, shattered hopes, dreams downscaling and the sadness of unfulfilled potential.

I remember sitting on the terrace with my grandfather at the end of days play. Watching the sunset over the majesty that is the Karoo. Him with a brandy and Coke and a cigarette dangling from his lips and I drank ginger beer made at home. This was a moment of reflection for him. Sometimes, when we sat together, married see a wall of dark clouds of material leaves the floods of rain, 50 miles away in a straight line. Seemed Closer to home, the beam stay holed up in our little space in the world.

Occasionally a few errant raindrops carried by wind power Gulf is crackling in the gallery. This would cause my grandfather looking at the sky with hope in your heart that the rain finally bless his farm and his family. Almost every Once his hopes were dashed as the rain disappeared like a mirage in a desert. Search Hed in his glass, sigh and take another sip of brandy. The drink and smoke at the end a day's work seemed to be his only pleasure in life. That, and playing with Rummy me after church one Sunday.

My grandparents' farm was a typical Karoo farm on the edge of the rain. His farm was a huge potential to grow any number of crops. But the rain fell just out of reach of where they breed. I knew if the rain just fell on his farm, would be a great success. However, it seemed he was destined to be always on the edge of the rain, you can not claim wealth and success that was her reason.

I'm not saying that there was never any success. There were islands of happiness that appeared in a sea of struggle. Then everyone was excited. The grandmother could buy a new dress shop and not have to do theirs. I could go to the local store and buy real sweet. A nice change of the nut that was my staple sweet. These islands of success and happiness are rare and fleeting. But those rare and fleeting moments were vital to the survival of grandparents. They gave him hope and kept him in the game. And because of those moments he never gave up on his family and his goals, including reduction of scale as they were. He died at the plow, bent but never broken.

It occurred to me that many of our lives are like that farm Karoo. They were on the edge of the rain. We can see and taste the benefits life has to offer. Simply I can not seem to get them, right? We know we have all the potential in the world. We know that if we step out of the desert in the rain, and get the support they need to succeed. Most of us never get into the rain, right? Its almost as if it were a boxing class on weight over the ours. We go through the motions, slogging and slaves, hoping that the break that changed our lives forever. Our potential wasted further fuels our disappointment that leads us to live a life of quiet desperation.

"Have you ever wondered why is that even though I work to the bone and do things right, still do not get the life they desire and deserve? Must have occurred to you that there must be an easier way. Ive raised four questions which I hope will raise an internal debate in you and pay attention. You and I know that is when you do not pay attention to what's happening in your life that feels severe pain.

Do not know why you're here

For absolute clarity in your life, you need to know what their purpose is on this earth. Youve got to start living on purpose. Many of us have no idea what they're meant to do with our lives and leave open to the vagaries of destination. You can be one of those souls who find it exciting to live in a whimsical, unpredictable as to what your partner every day. Its just not a great strategy for help you find direction in life. Because once you know who you are, what we stand for and what you'll accept and not accept, life becomes much simpler. Its purpose can become your North Star, always guided in the right direction.

How I can find my way, you may ask? That's nothing Easy, right? Youve got to spend time with you and have a deep, introspective look at what you are and how you want to contribute. Here is the crux of any statement of purpose – the purpose is not to be happy. Its purpose is to make a difference in the lives of those around you. Because it is only when you are making a difference real to be really happy.

I can not stress enough how important it is to discover your purpose before undertaking any kind of exercise goals. Once you have your effect, all goals are divided into alignment.
My purpose is: To help people live a life of adventure, destiny and purpose through my God-given talents to think, write and speak. I fulfill my destiny to inspire people through my blogs, my writing, my lectures, seminars me and my books. Every goal I set is intended to achieve my goal. When I make a difference in the lives of my family, friends and clients, I'm happy, satisfied and happy.

Finding your purpose gives you the "why". One of the greatest motivators in life is to have a "reason why". Why do this? Why is it important to my family? Why is it important to my customers? Why is it important for my country? Viktor E. Frankl in his book, Mans search for meaning makes a strong case for a "reason why". Frankl, an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist who was imprisoned in concentration camps Nazis. He decided to study why some of the inmates seemed to succumb quickly and why others have survived in one of the harshest environments and more Once inhumane devised by man. The short answer is that those who survived the Nazi concentration camps had a "reason why". Had a primary goal that kept them going. It could have gone to see her children again, to stay alive for their Nazi jailers justice or any of a dozen reasons.

You do not know what you want

Once we have a "Reason why?" … we must find a way to go. The reality is that most of us do not really know what we want. We believe we can do, more or less. Usually it is a kind of fuzzy utopian ideal, is not right? I want more money. I want to be happy. I want a nice house. I want a beautiful car. I live on the coast or the mountains or maybe Monaco. I want a great relationship with someone who'll love me. I just want to be happy. And so on. It is exactly this kind of muddled thinking and nonspecific undesirable results are obtained. Up to be clear on what you really want, you'll be always on the edge of the rain. You have to be realistic and specific about what you want. Once decoded the code of the edges of rain near you.

How to get clear about what you really want? Pick a day and a closet yourself away any interruption – mobile phone, family, friends and work. Pretend that you have unlimited time and money. What would you do? What would you buy? Who was going to meet? What car do you want? Write a list of dreams. Do not judge and say, "I could not get." Just write down.

Once you have your list, categorize it in short-and long-term. I want to retire from Version 5 million in cash in the bank is a long-term. I losing just 10 kilos is a short-term goal. Then set goals to achieve SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant (to end) and based on time).

You do not think you deserve success

I think the biggest obstacle that keeps us on the edge of the rain I do not believe that we are worthy of success and happiness. At the heart of this is our self-image and self esteem. Have you heard more than a dozen times in his life, "The Success is an inside job. "Well, its true, is not it?

Sick I tell you all that the circumstances of your life right now, you have created. In fact, you're exactly where you're supposed to at this time. Your self-esteem and self-image are thermostats that regulate temperature in your life. When you go over your potential and perceived value, the thermostat lower temperature to what has been fixed. Let's say 100 degrees is super hot (which is equivalent to wealth, happiness, success, health and similar) and 0 degrees is very cold (which is tantamount to failure and misery.) Say you parity at 50 degrees. If you do you will always get 50 degrees results. If you go over the 50 mark of degree, say, 60 degrees, the thermostat will kick in and leaving it behind at 50 degrees … their expectation area and comfort zone. And when you return to the area, Arent you're happy? The results arent exactly what you want, but the results they're fit their world view and value is placed on yourself.

Let me give you an example. Imagine you earn R5 000 per month. You decide to try their luck at a casino and win R5 000. That is amazing and can really help. You know what? Your car breaks down and must repair. Guess how much it costs? Thats right R 5 000. The thermostat was present and brought you to the level of belief. Until we start getting a serious belief that they are worthy of success, you always start getting the same results. I can not say it better than Proverbs 23:7, "As a man thinketh in his heart so is he."

I have always struggled to differentiate between self-image and self esteem until I found a book called James Arthur Ray Harmonic Wealth. Ray says that self-image is thinking about you and your world. Self-esteem tells us how we feel about ourselves and our lives.

Other people helped script his own image. Most scripts that happened in childhood, has not it? It is said that from infancy to about age six were in a state of brain wave called Alpha. In this state to absorb information like a sponge. Who do we hold up to six? Our parents. Like it or not, our parents are largely responsible for the way it turned out, they arent? Whatever I said, sucks you in and believe. Whether to empower parents focused on building a positive soul, you'll probably find their world view is one of abundance. Of course, if you had a greater delay in growth beginning with the parents of more pendulum to its negative side, self and world view is more defeatist.

Therefore, how you feel about yourself (self esteem) is correlated direct how you see yourself (self esteem).
Remember, though raised in a negative home with parents who have not yet have the skills or knowledge in the time to strengthen even have one thing going for you: choice!
Og Mandino in his book, The God Memorandum said: "I gave you more power so great that even my angels possess it … I gave you the power to choose. With this gift I placed even above my angels … angels are not free to choose sin. "

In my opinion, is a sin to choose not to live up to their potential. Even if you have broken the child, who has spent … choose to be a success instead of failure. Choose to live a life of abundance rather than a life of deprivation. Choose not to follow the herd of mediocrity.

Learn from this story apocryphal. Two brothers were interviewed. One of them was a criminal, rotting in jail and the other was a pillar of success, respected in their community. When asked why I left as he had, the brother in jail, said: "With a father like mine, what did you expect?" It seems that the father was a total degenerate who had time also spent in jail and when it came to their children, would not have won a prize in the weekly parents. When the successful brother was questioned about why had gone as he did, his response was: "With a father like mine, what did you expect?" That is the power of choice.

Therefore, choose to hang out with high quality people in your life. Choose to read inspirational books that will illuminate your path as you make your way through life. Choose an attitude of joy, abundance, appreciation and gratitude instead of one of desolation, despair and disaster. Choose not to let the challenges in life that lead down, but it shines as a beautiful diamond.

Choose to believe that you are worthy of having their hearts desire. Because you are.
If you still find this hard to sell, decide start counting their blessings. Having an attitude of gratitude for what his situation is now, you still have much to thank you not? You have more or fewer receptors 100 million in the eyes and 24 000 fibers in each ear – at least be grateful for his vision and hearing.
And, choose to grow. You probably already know that the results provided level the degree of growth. If you do not grow in intelligence, skill, confidence and stature, you'll continue to attract the same results yourself.

You do not want success bad enough

Anyone who has read anything by motivational guru Anthony Robbins I hear him say there are only two things that motivate us in life: to avoid the pain and the pursuit of pleasure. Most of us are more motivated by avoidance of pain, which arent? We make sure to make enough money to pay our obligations each month, pay
children of school fees and so on. We know that if we lose our job most of us are one paycheck from bankruptcy. This is what I call a fear motivator. Rather we should look at the motivation to sustain pleasure. The attitude should be: "If I can make more money, I might have a better lifestyle for me and my family."
Remember that what you focus on is where your energy goes. Or, as psychologist Carl Jung said, "What you resist, persists."

If you want to succeed in your life, you have be prepared to put in the work. If you do not take some action toward your goals, no amount of visualization and positive thinking will make it happen.
Once you've found your purpose and goals that align with that purpose, you gotta get off your ass. You have to do the job. Youve got to put in the hours for nothing worth has never been easy, right? top sports stars have a great work ethic. Most of them sacrificed a lot to get where they are. Dan Millman, former Olympic gymnast said, "The Discipline provides for excellence and excellence brings freedom."

If you are a student, you have to put in work … you have to study to do well. If you are a sales person, you have to make phone calls every day and see the prospects if you want to be a success mass. At work, we create more opportunities for ourselves, we pay more for ourselves. However, most of us miss the opportunity and the privilege to work because they have a purpose irresistibly attractive enough goals. When our purpose and goals are lukewarm, I guarantee that this is lazy and uninspired. I love what Thomas Edison said of the work: "The opportunity was missed by most because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."

Take the plunge

Make this the time to leave the crucible edge of the rain. Take time to discover why you here, what do you really want, I think you are worthy of success and hard work to get it. If you do have a life of adventure, destiny and purpose. Take the plunge and live the life you were meant to live.

Jacques de Villiers

About the Author

Jacques de Villiers specialises in employee motivation, internet marketing, sales training and public relations.

Mentoring Children of Promise